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As I’m writing this (17th Jan ‘22) it hasn’t yet been 16 weeks since Adele, my girlfriend, was diagnosed with bowel cancer. Since then she’s had surgery to remove a tumour from her colon, a low anterior resection — leaving her with an ileostomy (our new best friend Audrey!) until her body heals — and today she’s starting her 3rd cycle of a 6 month course of chemotherapy. It’s been a LOT (!) crammed into a few short months and we still haven’t fully wrapped our heads around it. There are times when I catch myself saying something to Adele like “Have you taken your chemo today?” and I’m like…WHAT. IS. LIFE?!?
I think what’s helped me feel less…helpless?…through all of this has been realising that whilst I can’t take the physical side of things away from Adele, I can definitely help to ease the mental stress and overwhelm that something like cancer brings with it. Where i can (COVID restrictions allowing!) I make sure to go to all her appointments, noting down anything we need to remember that might get forgotten otherwise.
I asked Elaine, Adele’s AMAZING stoma nurse, to teach me how to change Audrey’s stoma bag — it’s now my favourite thing to do every morning! I LOVE AUDREY! She’s like our new, very naughty, baby 😂! I’m so grateful to her for popping out for a while to give Adele’s body time to heal. What a little legend?!
I also made sure that I was the one doing all the late night googling — when you’re worried about something it’s kind of inevitable that you’re going to find yourself in a deep internet hole at 2am at some point! Once Adele was diagnosed, she stayed away from Dr. Google and I did all the information gathering for both of us - only sharing anything that she needed to know and helping Adele just keep focusing on recovering.
One place I always found helpful and comforting advice was the Cancer Chat Forum by Cancer Research UK - you can read stories and updates from people going through similar journeys and it’s moderated by certified cancer nurses who will offer their support and guide you to the right place to get advice.
CANCER CHAT FORUM - Cancer Research UK
This podcast, presented by the lovely George Alagiah, has been such a comfort to both me and Adele. Such a positive listen for anyone living with bowel cancer.
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